My Wife Said “I Want An Open Marriage—But Only For ME. You Have To Stay Faithful” I Said “That’s Fai

My wife said, I want an open marriage, but only for me. You have to stay faithful. I said, that’s fair. She thought I agreed. I meant it was fair for her to test that alone. All right, Reddit, buckle up because this is the story of how my wife tried to have her cake and eat it, too, and ended up with neither.

This happened over the span of about 2 months earlier this year, and my brother said it deserved its own Netflix special. So, here we go. I’m 32, been married for 5 years to my wife, Kristen. Met her when I was 27 working as an operations manager for a logistics company in Denver. Good job, decent pay, owned my own townhouse before we even got married.

I’m the guy who shows up on time, pays bills early, and actually reads the instruction manual before assembling furniture. The townhouse was in this quiet development near Cherry Creek. Three-bedroom, two-bath, finished basement that I’d converted into a home office/workshop. Bought it in 2018 for $340,000 with a 20% down payment I’d been saving since college.

Place had a two-car garage where I kept my 2016 Tacoma and all my woodworking equipment. Nothing fancy, just solid and paid for ahead of schedule. My weekends were split between working on furniture projects in the basement and hitting the trails with my mountain bike. Built most of our dining room set myself.

Table, chairs, even the sideboard cabinet. Kristen used to brag about it to her friends back when she was still proud of the stuff I made, instead of treating it like proof I was boring. Kristen worked in HR for a tech startup downtown. Pretty standard corporate job where she spent most of her day dealing with other people’s workplace drama and planning team-building exercises nobody wanted to attend.

When we first met, she seemed like she had her life figured out, too. We bonded over both being the responsible ones in our friend groups, the people who made reservations, remembered birthdays, and actually saved money instead of living paycheck to paycheck. Our wedding was exactly what we both wanted. Nothing crazy expensive or over the top, just a solid celebration with family and close friends at this mountain venue outside Boulder.

Spent about $25,000 total, which we split down the middle from our savings. Her parents kicked in another five grand for the catering upgrade. Everything went smooth as butter because we’d planned every detail six months in advance. Those first three years of marriage were pretty great. We had our routines, our inside jokes, our Friday night tradition of trying new restaurants.

She’d come home from work complaining about incompetent co-workers, and I’d listen while making dinner. I’d talk about supply chain issues, and she’d pretend to understand what FOB pricing meant. Normal married couple stuff. Then, around year four, things started shifting. Subtle at first. She started talking about this new hire at her company named Bryce.

Marketing guy, apparently moved from California, where he’d worked at some boutique agency that handled influencer campaigns. According to Kristen, this dude was a game-changer for their brand strategy. Whatever that meant. At first, it was professional stuff. Bryce thinks we should pivot our social media approach.

Bryce has this amazing idea for the company retreat. Bryce suggested this great podcast about disrupting traditional workplace culture. Standard office admiration that happens when someone new shows up with fresh ideas and a different perspective. Then it became more personal. Bryce travels to Thailand twice a year. Bryce only eats organic and does hot yoga.

Bryce thinks marriage is an outdated social construct designed to limit human potential. That last one should have been a bigger red flag, but I figured it was just philosophical rambling from someone who read too many self-help books. The real shift happened around month eight of Bryce working there. Kristen started going to happy hours that ran until 10:00 p.m.

Started talking about how she felt like she’d settled down too young before really experiencing life. Started making comments about how all her single friends seemed so much more adventurous and fulfilled. “Do you ever think we got married too fast?” she asked one night while we were watching TV. I looked up from my phone.

“What do you mean? I don’t know. I was only 25. You were 27. We barely dated 2 years before getting engaged. What if we missed out on important experiences by locking ourselves down so early? Like what kind of experiences? She got vague. Just life experiences, growth experiences, discovering who we really are outside of being someone’s husband or wife.

Red flag number 73. But I figured it was just a quarter-life crisis thing. People get weird when they hit their late 20s and start comparing their lives to what they see on social media. I suggested we plan a trip somewhere we’d never been. Maybe take a long weekend and go hiking in Utah or explore the Pacific Northwest.

That sounds nice, she said in that tone that means it’s not actually what she wants, but she doesn’t want to explain why. 3 weeks later she dropped the bomb. It was a Tuesday night in March. I just finished making dinner. Nothing fancy, just chicken stir-fry with vegetables over rice. Kristen came home from work around 7:30, which was later than usual, but not suspicious at that point.

She had this look on her face like she’d been rehearsing a speech in her car for the entire drive. We sat down to eat and she barely touched her food. Just kept moving it around her plate while staring at some fixed point on the wall behind me. Sam, we need to talk about our relationship. Here we go. What about it? She took a deep breath like she was about to dive into a cold pool.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and soul-searching lately about who I am, what I want, what kind of life I want to live. Okay. And I think I think we should open our marriage. I set down my fork. Open as in? As in we stay married? We still love each other and maintain our life together, but we’re free to explore connections with other people.

I just stared at her waiting for the punchline that never came. Connections meaning? Meaning we’re allowed to date other people, be intimate with other people, experience different relationships while still prioritizing our marriage as the primary partnership. The way she said it, all clinical and rehearsed, told me she’d been workshopping this pitch for weeks, probably with Bryce, probably over those happy hours that ran until 10:00 p.m.

And you want this because because I feel like I jumped into marriage without fully exploring who I am as an individual. I love you. I love our life, but I need more than what we have. I need adventure, passion, spontaneity, things that are hard to maintain in a 5-year marriage. Classic. The whole I love you, but I’m not in love with you speech with extra steps.

And you think dating other people is going to give you that? I think it might help me feel more fulfilled as a person. There’s this concept I’ve been reading about called ethical non-monogamy, where both partners agree to expand their relationship boundaries while maintaining trust and communication. It’s becoming really common among evolved couples who understand that one person can’t meet all of another person’s needs. Evolved couples. Got it.

So, you want both of us to see other people? And here’s where she showed her cards. Well, not exactly. I mean, technically, yes, but realistically, I’m the one who feels constrained by our current arrangement. You seem perfectly happy with our life as it is. So, you want to date other people while I stay faithful? I wouldn’t phrase it like that.

It’s more like I’m actively seeking growth and new experiences, and you’re welcome to do the same if you want, but I’m not going to push you to do something you’re not interested in. Translation, I want permission to cheat while you sit at home like a good little husband. I sat there for a minute, just processing.

Part of me wanted to flip the table and tell her exactly how ridiculous this whole thing was, but another part of me was curious to see how far she’d take this insanity. And what if I’m not okay with this? Her face got tight. Then I think we need to seriously evaluate whether this marriage is working for both of us. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life feeling trapped and unfulfilled just because you’re too scared to evolve beyond traditional relationship structures.

Too scared to evolve. Right. How long have you been thinking about this? A few months. I wanted to be sure before bringing it up. I’ve been reading a lot. Talking to people who’ve successfully opened their relationships. Really examining what I need to feel happy and authentic. Talking to people. Meaning Bryce.

And you’ve already got someone in mind. She didn’t deny it. Just looked down at her plate. There’s someone at work who I’ve connected with. Nothing’s happened because I wanted to discuss this with you first and establish boundaries before pursuing anything. But yes. There’s a potential connection I’d like to explore. At least she was somewhat honest about it.

I looked at my wife sitting across from me. This person I’d spent five years building a life with. And realized I was looking at a stranger. Someone who’d convinced herself that wanting to sleep with her co-worker was actually a form of personal growth and evolution. And that’s when I made my decision. Okay. She looked up, shocked.

Okay? Really? Yeah, that’s fair. Her whole face lit up like I’d just given her the best gift ever. Oh my gosh, Sam. Really? You’re willing to do this? I was so worried you’d be upset or try to talk me out of it. Nope. If that’s what you need to feel fulfilled. Then you should absolutely pursue it. This is amazing. You have no idea how much this means to me.

She reached across the table to grab my hand. We should establish some ground rules though. Communication guidelines. Boundaries about sleepovers. Whether we tell each other details. Sure, we can work all that out. She kept talking getting more animated by the second. All about honesty and respect and maintaining our primary relationship bond.

I just nodded along while finishing my dinner. What she didn’t know was that I’d already decided on my ground rules. Rule one. I wasn’t going to participate in this arrangement. Rule two. I wasn’t going to stick around to watch her destroy what we’d built. Rule three. She could explore her connection with Bryce all she wanted, but she’d be doing it as a single woman.

I meant it was fair. Fair for her to test this whole open marriage concept on her own. That night while she was in the shower, I texted my buddy Chris. He’s a divorce attorney I’d met through a networking group a few years back. Good guy, straight shooter, didn’t mess around with billable hours. Me, need to set up a consultation ASAP.

Wife wants open marriage, I want out. Him, tomorrow at lunch, I’ll clear my schedule. Next morning I took a long lunch and met Chris at the sandwich shop near his office. Laid out the whole situation while eating a mediocre turkey club. So she wants to sleep with other people but stay married to you? Basically. She framed it as personal growth and expanding our relationship boundaries.

Chris laughed. Not a happy laugh. The kind of laugh you give when you’ve heard this story 50 times before. Let me guess. She’s got someone specific in mind. Probably a co-worker and she’s convinced herself this is an evolved modern relationship approach instead of just wanting to cheat with permission. Nailed it in one.

Here’s what’s going to happen if you actually go along with this Sam. She’s going to see this Bryce guy for a few weeks, maybe a couple months. It’s going to be all exciting and new. Meanwhile, you’ll be sitting at home funding her lifestyle while she treats your marriage like a safety net. Eventually, either she’ll catch feelings and leave you anyway or Bryce will get bored and dump her.

Either way, your marriage is already over. She just doesn’t want to admit it yet. That’s what I figured. So you want to file first? Immediately. Chris pulled out his laptop right there at the table. Colorado is a no-fault divorce state, so this should be pretty straightforward. You own the townhouse together? It’s in my name.

I bought it before we got married. She’s on the deed, but I can prove I made the entire down payment from my personal savings account. Good. That’s going to make this easier. Joint accounts? One checking account for shared expenses. Everything else is separate. My retirement accounts are all in my name from before the marriage. Even better. Kids? No.

Then this is is as clean as it gets. We file for dissolution of marriage, site irretrievable breakdown, and offer a fair but firm settlement. You keep the house since you brought it into the marriage. You split any shared assets accumulated during the marriage, and you go your separate ways. He started typing up notes.

This is going to take about 2 weeks to draft and file. In the meantime, don’t do anything that could be used against you. Don’t move out. Don’t cut her off financially. Don’t start dating anyone new. Act completely normal until she gets served. When will that happen? If we file by end of next week, she’ll probably get served around mid-April.

You should brace yourself for an ugly reaction. Trust me. Whatever reaction she has is going to be nothing compared to what she deserves. Chris grinned. I like you, Sam. Most guys would try to work it out or convince themselves they can make it work. You’re cutting your losses clean. We spent the next hour going over every detail of my financial situation.

Bank statements, property documents, retirement accounts, everything. Chris took notes like he was preparing for trial, which I guess he was. One more thing, he said as we were wrapping up. Are you sure about this? Once we file, there’s no taking it back. If she realizes she made a mistake and begs you to reconsider, you’re locked in. I’m sure.

Good, because I’ve seen too many guys waffle at the last minute when their wives start crying and promising to change. Not happening. She made her choice when she decided Bryce was more important than our marriage vows. Going home that night was surreal. Kristen was already there, humming while making dinner like she just won the lottery, which I guess in her mind she had.

Permission to cheat without consequences. Hey, babe, she said when I walked in. I was thinking we should set aside time this weekend to really talk through the logistics of our new arrangement. I made a Google Doc with some ideas for boundaries and communication protocols. A Google Doc. She made a spreadsheet for cheating on me. Sounds good.

She kissed me on the cheek. I’m so grateful you’re being so understanding about this. A lot of men would be threatened or insecure, but you’re really showing emotional maturity by embracing this growth opportunity for both of us. I just smiled and nodded. Let her think whatever she needed to think.

That weekend she presented her Google Doc like it was a business proposal, complete with color-coded sections and bullet points. The document was titled Our Open Marriage Framework, Building a Foundation of Trust and Exploration. Some highlights: Primary Relationship Status. Our marriage remains our top priority and primary emotional commitment. Communication.

We agree to be honest about our connections, but maintain privacy regarding intimate details unless specifically requested. Time Management. Date nights with other partners should not interfere with our weekly Tuesday dinner tradition or major holidays. Safe Practices. All outside relationships must follow safer intimacy protocols and full disclosure of other partners.

Veto Power. Either partner can express discomfort about a specific outside connection and request reconsideration. Financial Boundaries. Dates with other partners should be funded from personal spending money, not shared accounts. She’d really thought this through. Built herself a whole permission structure to justify what she was about to do.

“What do you think?” she asked, looking at me expectantly. “Seems very thorough.” “I know it might feel weird at first, but I really think this is going to strengthen our relationship in the long run. We’ll be choosing each other every day instead of just defaulting to each other out of obligation.” “Makes sense.

” She practically bounced with excitement. “So, I have something to tell you. Bryce and I are going out this Friday. Just dinner and maybe drinks. Nothing physical, obviously. Just getting to know each other in a different context now that we have your blessing.” Your blessing, like I was some kind of priest giving permission for communion.

“That’s fine.” “You’re amazing.” she said, hugging me. “Most husbands would be having a total meltdown right now. You’re really proving that you’re capable of evolved thinking.” If she only knew. The next 2 weeks were probably the most bizarre of my life. Kristen spent her evenings texting Bryce and planning their first official date.

She bought new clothes, tighter jeans, lower cut tops, dresses that she definitely didn’t wear to the office. Started doing her makeup different, wearing her hair down instead of in her usual work bun. Meanwhile, I was documenting everything. Screenshots of her texts with Bryce that she carelessly left open on her laptop.

Copies of bank statements showing purchases at Victoria’s Secret and Sephora. Calendar events labeled dinner with B and drinks downtown. Chris said I probably wouldn’t need any of it since Colorado was no fault. But better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. I also started quietly separating our stuff.

Nothing obvious, just slowly moving my personal belongings into different areas of the house. My mountain bike went to Chris’s garage for safekeeping. Important documents got scanned and uploaded to a secure cloud storage. Wedding photos went into a box in the basement. My buddy Jake noticed something was up when we met for breakfast that Sunday.

Dude, you seem distracted. Everything okay? I’d known Jake since college. Guy was a mechanical engineer who’d helped me build half the furniture in my house. Solid friend, no tolerance. Kristen wants an open marriage. He nearly choked on his eggs. She what? Wants to date other people while staying married to me. Specifically, she wants to date this tool from her office named Bryce while I sit at home waiting for her to remember she has a husband.

Please tell me you told her to go screw herself. Better. I told her it was fine. Sam, what the hell? I filed for divorce. She doesn’t know yet. Papers are getting served Friday while she’s on her first date with Prince Charming. Jake’s face went from concern to absolutely delighted. Holy That’s cold as ice and I’m here for it.

What’s she going to do? Probably have a complete meltdown. But honestly, not my problem. She made her choice. What are you going to do after? Already got a line on a rental townhouse near the office. Two bedroom, good gym in the complex, allows bikes. Planning to move my stuff out over the weekend while she’s busy processing her new reality.

Need help? I can bring my truck and grab a couple guys from work. That’d be great actually. Jake raised his coffee mug. To your ex-wife’s terrible life choices and your smart exit strategy. We clinked mugs and I felt genuinely good for the first time in weeks. This was the right call. The only call. By Thursday night, I’d moved most of my important stuff to a storage unit Jake helped me rent.

Clothes, tools, bike gear, my collection of camping equipment. Left enough in the house to make it look normal, but took everything I actually cared about. Kristen didn’t notice a thing. She was too busy getting ready for her big date the next night. I’m so nervous, she told me Thursday evening.

What if we don’t have chemistry outside of work? Then you’ll know this whole thing was a bad idea. Or maybe it just means Bryce isn’t the right connection and I need to keep exploring. She laughed like this was all some kind of game. Either way, I’m excited to finally live my truth without feeling guilty. Living her truth. Got it. Friday, April 14th, the day that would live in infamy in Kristen’s personal history.

She spent the entire day at home getting ready for her date. I went to work like normal, sat through three meetings about supply chain optimization, approved some vendor contracts, regular Friday stuff except for the group text with Chris and Jake confirming the timeline. Chris, process server is scheduled for 6:30 p.m. She’s meeting him at that Italian place downtown, right? Me, Mirabello, 7:00 p.m. reservation.

Jake, this is better than anything on Netflix. Update us the second she calls. Chris, reminder that you should not engage extensively tonight. If she calls or texts, keep it brief and direct her to contact me for any questions about the filing. Me, got it. I left work at 5:00 p.m. and went to Jake’s house.

He had cold pizza and a case of root beer waiting, which felt appropriate for the occasion. We played video games and waited for my phone to explode. 6:30 p.m. came and went. No texts, no calls. 7:00 p.m. nothing. “Maybe the server didn’t find her yet.” Jake said. “He will. Chris uses the best process service in Denver.

Guy’s like a bloodhound.” 7:15 p.m. Still nothing. Kristen was probably at the restaurant by now ordering appetizers and talking to Bryce about how emotionally mature her husband was for supporting her journey. Then at 7:47 p.m. my phone started ringing. Kristen. Six calls back-to-back. Each one I let go to voicemail.

The texts started immediately after. Kristen, “What the hell is this?” Kristen, “Sam, answer your phone right now.” Kristen, “I just got served divorce papers at the restaurant in front of Bryce.” Kristen, “Are you actually insane?” Kristen, “Call me immediately. We need to talk about this.” Jake was reading over my shoulder and absolutely losing it.

“She got served at the restaurant? Oh, that’s beautiful. Chris is a genius.” The calls kept coming. I sent one text back. Me, “For any questions about the divorce filing, contact my attorney Chris Morrison at Morrison and Associates. His office number is 303-555-0147.” Kristen, “I don’t want to talk to your attorney. I want to talk to you.

” Kristen, “How could you do this to me?” Kristen, “I thought you were okay with this.” Kristen, “We had an agreement.” Me, “We did. I agreed it was fair. Fair for you to explore being single.” Kristen, “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Kristen, “Please come home so we can talk face-to-face.

” Kristen, “Sam, please don’t do this.” The voicemails were even better. First one was her crying and screaming about how I’d humiliated her in front of Bryce and everyone at at restaurant. Second one was angrier, accusing me of being manipulative and cruel for blindsiding her. Third one was desperate bargaining. We could go to counseling.

She’d give up the open marriage idea. She’d do whatever I wanted. Jake and I listened to each voicemail on speaker, eating pizza while Kristen’s life imploded in real time. She sounds legitimately shocked that you called her bluff, Jake said. Did she really think you’d just sit around while she dated other dudes? Apparently, she bought into her own hype about evolved relationship structures and assumed I’d be grateful for the chance to grow emotionally.

Around 8:30 p.m., she tried a different approach, called from Bryce’s number, which I also didn’t answer. Left a voicemail where I could hear Bryce in the background telling her to calm down. Sam, it’s me. I’m at Bryce’s place because I couldn’t stay at that restaurant after what happened. We need to talk about this like adults.

You can’t just file for divorce without discussing it first. That’s not how marriage works. Please call me back. I love you and I know we can work through this if you just talk to me. I texted back one more time. Me, I’m not home. Don’t wait up. All communication goes through Chris from this point forward. Then I blocked her number and settled in to watch a movie with Jake.

Saturday morning, I went back to the house with Jake and two of his co-workers. We’d rented a moving truck and planned to grab everything I needed in one trip. Chris had advised me that it was completely legal since I owned the house and wasn’t abandoning it, just removing my personal property. Kristen’s car was in the driveway when we pulled up.

I’d been hoping she’d stay at a friend’s place or something, but no such luck. She was waiting in the living room when I opened the door, looking like she hadn’t slept, still wearing yesterday’s date outfit with makeup smeared and hair a mess. Sam, finally. We need to talk about this insanity right now. Nothing to talk about.

Just here to get my stuff. Your stuff? What does that mean? Jake and his co-workers walked in behind me and headed straight for my home office. It means I’m moving out. You can have the house. Her face went from desperate to panicked. Moving out? You can’t just move out. This is your house. Our house. You can’t abandon our marriage over one misunderstanding.

It’s not a misunderstanding. You wanted an open marriage so you could sleep with Bryce. I decided I’d rather be divorced. But you said you were okay with it. You said it was fair. It is fair. Fair for you to test being single. She just stared at me while that sank in. That’s not That’s not what I asked for.

I asked for an open marriage where we stay committed to each other as primary partners while exploring connections with other people. Yeah. And I’m exploring the connection between my foot and the door. Jake snorted from the other room. Kristen’s eyes filled with tears. This isn’t funny, Sam. You’re throwing away 5 years of marriage over a concept you didn’t even try to understand. I understood perfectly.

You wanted to eat cake while keeping the bakery. Well, congratulations. The bakery’s closed. That’s not fair. I was trying to grow as a person and you’re punishing me for being honest about my needs. Your needs included sleeping with your co-worker while I paid the mortgage. So, yeah. I’m punishing that by removing myself from the equation entirely.

She followed me into the bedroom where I was packing clothes. We can fix this. I’ll call off everything with Bryce. We’ll go back to normal. Please, Sam. I made a mistake. You didn’t make a mistake. You made a choice. You chose Bryce and your open marriage fantasy over our actual marriage. Now you get to live with that choice. But I don’t want a divorce.

I want you. I stopped packing and looked at her. You wanted me to sit at home like a good little safety net while you went out and played the field. You wanted to keep all the benefits of being married while having none of the responsibilities of actually being a faithful partner. And you genuinely thought I’d be okay with that.

Because you dressed it up in therapy language about growth and evolution. It wasn’t like that. It was exactly like that. You got so caught up in justifying what you wanted that you forgot I’m an actual person with my own needs and boundaries. Well, here’s mine. I need a partner who doesn’t want to date other people.

And since you’ve made it clear that’s not you, I’m out. So, that’s it? Five years of marriage down the drain because you couldn’t handle a little bit of complexity? Now I was getting angry. Complexity? You wanted to cheat on me with permission and you’re calling it complexity? You spent weeks texting Bryce, planning your first date, buying new clothes to impress him, all while I sat across the dinner table from you thinking we were building a life together.

And then you had the audacity to act like I was being controlling when I had the nerve to have feelings about it. I wasn’t cheating. We hadn’t done anything physical, only because you wanted a permission slip first. You had the affair planned out. You just wanted me to co-sign it so you could avoid feeling guilty. Jake appeared in the doorway. Truck’s loaded.

Just need your clothes and the stuff from the garage. Give me 10 minutes. Kristen was full-on sobbing now. Please don’t go. We can fix this. I’ll do anything. You should have thought about that before you made your Google Doc about dating other men. That was a mistake. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Oh, you were thinking clearly.

You were thinking about Bryce and how exciting it would be to have both him and a husband. You just didn’t think about what would happen when your husband decided he was worth more than being your backup plan. I grabbed the last of my clothes and headed for the garage. Kristen followed, still pleading and crying and promising to change.

My lawyer will be in touch about the property settlement, I said as I loaded my toolbox into Jake’s truck. You’re welcome to stay in the house until we figure out what to do with it. I’ll keep paying the mortgage through the end of the divorce proceedings. I don’t care about the house. I care about you. Should have thought about that before you chose Bryce.

The next few weeks were wild. Kristen called approximately 8,000 times from different numbers trying to get me to answer, sent emails, texts, even tried to show up at my office before building security escorted her out. Her mom called me crying, begging me to give Kristen another chance. Her dad called me to say he didn’t blame me one bit and wished me luck.

That told me everything I needed to know about how that conversation went at their house. Mutual friends started taking sides. Most of them sided with me once they heard the full story, which apparently Kristen had tried to spin as me refusing to work on our marriage. One of her co-workers, who I’d been friendly with, sent me a long message basically saying everyone at her office thought she was insane for what she did.

The best part? Bryce apparently noped out of the whole situation immediately. According to Jake, who heard it from someone who heard it from someone else, Bryce told Kristen that he was only interested in a casual thing, and all this divorce drama was way too intense for him. So, she blew up her marriage for a guy who ghosted her within a week.

Chris moved through the divorce proceedings like a machine. Since we had no kids and I could prove separate property on the townhouse, things moved pretty quickly. Kristen tried to fight me on a few things. Wanted half the equity in the house. Wanted me to cover her moving expenses. Wanted me to pay for marriage counseling even though we were getting divorced. Chris shut down all of it.

Sent her lawyer a detailed financial breakdown showing that I’d brought the house into the marriage. Made all the improvements myself. And paid 85% of the mortgage from my separate income. Offered her a fair settlement of $15,000 to cover her moving costs and she could keep her car and personal belongings. Take it or leave it. She took it.

Mainly because her lawyer told her she had no case for anything more. By June, just 2 months after she got served at that restaurant, we were officially divorced. I signed the papers at Chris’s office while eating a sub sandwich. Kristen signed them at her lawyer’s office while reportedly crying the entire time.

“You did good, Sam.” Chris said as he notarized the final documents. “Most guys would have dragged this out or like guilt make them give up more than they should. You stuck to your guns.” “I just wanted out clean.” “Well, you’re out. Officially single as of today.” Jake threw me a divorce party that weekend. Nothing crazy, just pizza and video games with the guys.

Everyone kept making jokes about my newfound freedom and how I should celebrate by taking a trip or buying something expensive. Nah, I said, I’m just going to focus on my own stuff for a while. Get back into mountain biking, maybe take that woodworking class I’ve been thinking about. No dating yet? Not even remotely interested.

I just watched my 5-year marriage implode because my wife wanted to test drive other guys while keeping me as insurance. I’m going to be single for a good long while. It’s been 6 months since I signed those papers and honestly, life is pretty damn good. I heard through mutual friends that Kristen’s had a rough time. She ended up moving back in with her parents after the divorce because she couldn’t afford to live alone on her HR salary.

Bryce wouldn’t give her the time of day after everything went down. She apparently dated a few guys from dating apps, but nothing stuck. Word is she tells people she’s focusing on herself right now, which is code for nobody wants to deal with her drama. Her friends stopped defending her once they realized she’d actually asked me to stay faithful while she dated other men.

Even Jessica, who’d been her best friend since college, apparently told her she’d made her own bed and needed to lie in it. Last I heard, she was in therapy and trying to figure out why she’d sabotaged her own marriage. Good for her, I guess. Growth and evolution and all that. As for me, I’ve got no regrets. She showed me who she really was when she made that Google Doc outlining how she was going to cheat on me with my blessing.

I just had the good sense to believe her the first time. My buddy Chris, the divorce lawyer, put it best when we grabbed lunch last month. Sam, I’ve handled hundreds of divorces in my career. Most of them are messy disasters where both people share blame and everyone walks away damaged. But yours, yours was a master class in recognizing when you’re being disrespected and having the self-respect to walk away clean.

Your ex-wife thought she could have it all and you proved to her that you weren’t willing to be part of that equation. That takes backbone that most guys don’t have. Thanks, man. Honestly, it wasn’t that hard once I decided she’d made her choice. That’s what I mean, though. Most guys would have tried to compete with Bryce or would have agreed to the open marriage hoping she’d change her mind or would have spent months fighting and arguing trying to save something that was already dead.

You just assessed the situation, made a decision, and executed. Ruthlessly efficient. Ruthlessly efficient. I like that. Might put it on a t-shirt. Chris laughed. You earned it.