My Wife Assumed I Was Cheating, So She Cheated on Me—Now I’ve Taken Everything and

My wife assumed I was cheating, so she cheated. I took everything and made sure to humiliate her. I’m a 30-year-old male, and I met my wife, a 28-year-old female, when I was in college. My major was in business economics, and hers was in English. We met at the house of a mutual friend.

We hit things off pretty well, dated for a couple of years, and sometime after we graduated, I proposed to her. She said yes right away. That’s the summarized version of our courtship since I don’t think there’s anything really noteworthy in there. We’ve been married for 4 years now. I think I started to notice some changes in my wife, let’s call her Claudia, after we got married about a year in.

It all started after she walked in on me and a female colleague together at a bar. I know it sounds bad, but it was an entirely innocuous situation. A bunch of us Kio workers went out after work for some drinks, which isn’t an unusual occurrence. As people started to leave one by one, it was eventually only me and the colleague left at the bar.

Claudia walked in with her friends and they came to say hi to us. I returned the greeting normally because I didn’t feel like I was doing anything wrong. But it was when Claudia got back home after me that everything hit the fan. When she walked in, she threw her purse down and came stomping towards me.

She pointed a finger in my face and started screaming about how she caught me in the act of cheating on her. I tried my best to tell her that wasn’t the situation, but she honestly didn’t let me get a word out. When she finally calmed down only after calling me every horrible thing a person can call a cheater, I explained the situation to her, even showing her photos that the group of us had taken earlier that night.

I also pointed out that I didn’t react strangely when she came with her friends because I knew I wasn’t doing anything wrong and had hoped it would be evident. After my explanation, she said okay, seeming to have finally understood. She stood there for a few seconds like she wanted to say something and then she went into the room.

This was quite some time ago, but it still irks me to this day that she never apologized after all of that. However, the reason I’m retelling this whole episode is that it was the point where she seemed to become clingy and overly jealous. I would sense mood shifts if I looked in the direction of a woman or simply answered a few questions for a woman, even if she was just asking for directions.

I also noticed that these rules didn’t seem to apply to women who were very obviously not a threat. I think a sensible amount of jealousy is healthy because it allows for the enforcement of boundaries, but it’s very easy to tell when it’s excessive. In her case, it just seemed to become excessive after that episode, which didn’t make sense to me because she had no reason to be so wary of me in the presence of other women.

Most of the time, I know that an interaction with a woman has soured her because I’ll notice a shift in her emotions. But it is only some of the time that she actually starts something. It’s never a civil discussion as she always gets emotional around the topic. And to say it drives me crazy is an understatement because she’ll always cite the smallest thing as the reason she suspects me.

For instance, there was a time when she caught me and one of the female neighbors in our apartment building talking in the hallway. We were literally just talking about some basic politics and Claudia walked out of our apartment, saw us in the hallway, and walked back in. As soon as I saw that happen, I knew I’d be in for it at that very moment.

I’ll admit that I thought of divorce because honestly, I knew that I couldn’t keep living that way. It was highly draining. The only thing was I felt like it would be better for us to approach couples therapy first, at least before I ended things with her. After all, I love her. So, we tried that and truth be told, it helped, at least in the immediate period.

But things took a comedic turn when she felt the therapist was taking my side too often. Then, the therapist was the next person who Claudia assumed was trying to sleep with me. I remember laughing out loud the day she expressed that thought. It didn’t make the situation better, but I couldn’t help it.

We eventually switched to a male therapist and with that the sessions were at least able to go on much longer, at least until the point where it seemed like the changes were actually sticking in her head. We went several months without an incident. So, it finally seemed like there was progress. Well, at least until the point that I’m writing this post about.

The last several months have been normal, like how things were between us before the hyper jealousy even became a thing. However, I think things blew up when Rebecca, the same colleague who was in the bar with me years back, came to the house to hand over some documents. I wasn’t there since I was meant to be working from home the next week.

I think my wife recognized her from the first time around. And I don’t know whether she had a Winter Soldier moment or whether it was simply because a woman came directly to the house looking for me, but all hell broke loose when I got back home. She started howling at me the moment I walked through the door and I was greeted with documents being thrown in my face.

She asked me why Rebecca knew where I lived. According to her, before I could even answer, it was because I must have brought her there before to sleep with her. The real answer was simply that I had told her where I lived when she said she wanted to drop the documents off. It didn’t help that Rebecca is quite a curvy woman.

So, it then moved into a rant about how I must like women who are owed a lot more than she is and I must have been sleeping with them all over town. She even said she was going to get herself tested for STDs because she was entirely convinced that I had cheated on her numerous times. Once she was done raving, I walked into the house, took a few basic things that I would need, and walked out.

I honestly had nothing to say to her, especially not in that state. I also knew that no matter what I had to say, it probably wouldn’t enter her head because when she’s in that emotional state, the voice of reason doesn’t get to her. I knew it would be better for me to leave the house entirely. So, I did that. I heard her shouting behind me, “Enjoy Rebecca’s bed now.

” This happened very recently, and I’ve been sleeping in a hotel since then. The thing is, I’m set on divorcing her because I really can’t live several more decades of my life. best case scenario, dealing with a woman who thinks that I’m cheating with every other woman in existence. The problem is, I know that the therapy sessions helped to some degree, and I’m fighting with myself, trying to figure out whether I should try and attend sessions with her again, or whether I should just give up.

I think this is the decision I need help with. So, I’d love it if you could all give me your opinions and thoughts on the situation. Edit: I’ve seen several comments saying that I’ve already tried enough and I should just let go of our relationship already. I sort of agree since I fear that no matter how many therapy sessions we attend together, it might just take one trigger for her to suddenly go back to being an overly jealous woman.

I might not divorce her right away, but I’ve certainly warmed up to the idea more than I ever have. And I think that the next time this happens, I’m done. This isn’t any way to live, to be entirely honest, and I’m getting tired of living my life under such tight control. I don’t want to live with regrets, though. So, I’m going to try to give her one more chance.

If this happens just once more, I’m not very optimistic, though. So, I’m getting used to the idea of becoming single again. It is what it is. Oh, the joys of marriage where I do often turns into you did what? Faster than you can say in sickness and in health. Sparks fly, dates happen, a proposal is made, and boom, the wedding bells ring.

Fast forward a bit, and suddenly, you’re cast in a real life drama where Claudia is convinced you’re the Kasanova of co-workers. She catches you having a totally innocent drink with a female colleague. Next thing you know, you’re being accused of cheating. Claudia’s new hobby, policing your every interaction with women.

If you so much as glance in the direction of a female, she’s ready to launch World War II. You do what any sane person would do. Pack your essentials and flee to the nearest hotel. Now you’re contemplating divorce because living under the constant threat of jealousyfueled meltdowns isn’t exactly the dream life you signed up for.

Life’s too short to live under constant suspicion. If Claudia can’t find a way to trust you, then maybe it’s time to write the final chapter in this saga and start fresh. Just make sure to screen any future partners for jealousy tendencies during the first date. Update: Well, here’s an update that I wasn’t expecting at all, and I don’t even know how to express how freaking pissed off I am with this new development.

As I told you all the last time I posted, I was getting more comfortable with the idea of divorce, but I just wanted to give her one more chance to get better. The good thing is that I didn’t need to wait too long for it to become evident that she’s never going to get better and she decided to show me in the most obvious way that she could.

I realized there was a problem when we went to a friend’s barbecue and I saw her being unusually touchy with someone there. We didn’t know the person, but I asked the host, who is my good friend, and he told me that the guy was recently divorced and worked in the construction industry. I was concerned because my wife was never so touchy with anyone but me, so it was obviously very strange behavior to me.

This was coming about 2 weeks after the very last episode that I narrated in the previous post. Anyway, I tried my best to keep an eye on her during the barbecue and I refused to make any kind of scene. So, it was only when we got home that I spoke to her about it. She didn’t seem apologetic about it and I can never forget as she said, “Well, now you know how it feels.

” Honestly, that part left me speechless for a bit because that was basically her admitting that she was rubbing up on the guy intentionally to make me jealous. Honestly, it was so stupid to me since it wasn’t even a sensible comparison. She gets jealous when other women speak to me. I’ve never thrown myself at them or gotten touchy.

It was far from the same thing. She even added, “Are you just jealous because he’s a handsome guy? Because he’s more fit than you.” At that point, I just walked out because I was starting to get to the point of anger where I wanted to hit something. She said nothing as I turned and left.

And honestly, as I did, I knew for a fact that I was going to be getting in contact with a divorce lawyer. I didn’t return to the house until 3 days later. The funny thing is, even if I hadn’t been sure enough, she set the decision in stone just a day later. I got a call from a friend who had hosted the barbecue. His name is Bill, and he seemed pretty serious.

He said that we should meet, so I agreed to. When I got to him, he told me that his friend, the one who my wife was talking to and I had asked about, called him. According to him, the guy said that he had hooked up with Claudia the day before, which was literally the day after I left the house, and he wanted to know what Bill thought about her since she said she was single.

I must have zoned out at that point because I honestly can’t remember what was said after then. By hooked up, it seemed clear that they had sex and Claudia presented herself as single to this man. The worst part is that I might not have found this crap out if the other guy hadn’t come to talk to Bill about it. My head was spinning at that point and I didn’t know what to think.

I didn’t even know how to proceed in the immediate moment. Bill could see that I wasn’t paying attention though, so he waited for me to come back. He said that he had told the guy that she was married and the guy seemed genuinely shocked. Apparently, she had given no indication whatsoever that she was a married woman and he told Bill, “Forget I asked and I’ll forget about her immediately.

” As soon as he finished telling me all of this, I went home right away to confront her. I didn’t rehearse anything and I was ready to let my pure anger guide the way when I saw her. Honestly, was there anything rehearsed that could best express how to handle someone who was cheating on you? When I walked back into the house, I wouldn’t quite say she was in a good mood, but she was more chatty than she normally would have been after something like that.

She still had an obvious attitude because the first thing she said was, “Didn’t expect to see you back already.” With a stupid grin on her face, she was clearly trying to rile me up. And it worked because the first thing I said after that was, “Shut up. I’ve never been so curt, so she seemed taken aback by that.

You slept with the guy from the barbecue. Don’t even think of denying it. You cheated on me, Claudia.” She stood there for some seconds before sheepishly saying, and I quote, “Now you know how it feels.” It came out almost in a whisper, so I know she must have realized how stupid it sounded. I’m not proud of it, but I chucked one of our ceramic kitchen ornaments at her feet.

I was pissed off by that stupid comment because I’ve never come even close to cheating on this woman. So, for her to say this as my retribution and her get back was crazy to me. I can’t remember what I said after this, but I remember I did a lot of cursing, screaming, and explaining. I do remember telling her that she was crazy if she felt like this made any sense.

I told her that she had never once caught me even close to cheating, that she was constantly overreacting to the slightest interactions I’ve had with women, and that she was delusional if she felt like I had ever shown the slightest signs of unfaithfulness. I pointed out to her right there that all the things that have triggered her have always been women’s basic actions toward me and never mind toward them.

I told her that despite the tens of times she’d accused me of cheating, she never had definitive proof of a single one of those, it was all in her head. And I told her she needed help. I think that was the moment when I expressed every single thing that I’ve ever wanted to scream at her. And when I was done, she said nothing whatsoever. She was just standing there.

I asked her if she had anything to say, but she said nothing at all. She just shook her head slightly. I told her to pack a few of her things and leave again. She stood there for a little bit before walking to the bedroom. She came out about an hour later with her suitcase packed and I haven’t seen her since then.

I definitely don’t need any help this time around to figure out what to do next since I have already gotten in contact with a divorce lawyer and I really want to make sure that I f her in the split because I put up with this way too fffg much over the years. I’m so exhausted and annoyed that this is what it had to come to.

I’ll go back to you all once the divorce is finalized and I know where I stand. So, you were getting comfortable with the idea of divorce thinking you’d give her one last chance to get better. Well, she sure didn’t keep you waiting. At a friend’s barbecue, you noticed her getting touchyfey with some random guy. Turns out this dude is freshly divorced and works in construction because nothing says happy marriage like your wife rubbing up on a stranger.

Classic Claudia. You let loose everything you’ve bottled up over the years, every baseless accusation, every jealous tirade. And what’s her response? Silence. Just a blank stare and a slight headshake. You tell her to pack her things and leave. She does and you haven’t seen her since. So, here you are, finally calling the divorce lawyer.

No more therapy, no more second chances. This time, you’re making sure the divorce stings. Consider it a long overdue reality check. Update two. I’m super happy to be writing this update right now, and I’m writing it feeling like I’ve had a massive weight lifted off my shoulders. Honestly, I feel great.

So, I wrote a post some time ago about my extremely jealous wife who always assumed that I was cheating on her or interested in other women. In quick succession, she made the decision to intentionally make me jealous and sleep with the same person. That was the final straw for me, and I got in contact with a divorce lawyer in no time. It didn’t take long for the papers to be ready, and I made sure that she was served at her workplace.

Just so you know, she works at a publishing company, so I’m sure I might have provided some workplace gossip over there. In fact, I know for a fact that I likely did because she sent me a really angry text that evening talking about how I had embarrassed her and how she knew I was being vindictive. Anyway, let’s fast forward to the part where the divorce proceedings were happening.

I messed up big time because I had no evidence whatsoever that she cheated on me. I didn’t have a recording of my conversation with my friend Bill or the affair partner’s confession to Bill. I tried to see if Bill could call the affair partner to admit it somehow, but that wasn’t practical. However, it seemed that I was actually able to convince them when I spoke about her jealousy, the fact that we had attended couples therapy, and when I honestly recounted the entire story.

She tried to tell the same story in a way that favored her from the onset, but it was easy to see right through. Thankfully, at the very end of the day, I got a very favorable outcome. I got to keep the house, which was fair since I lived there before she moved in with me. It was determined that there was no need to pay alimony, even though I earned more than her because the difference wasn’t substantial enough, and the judge didn’t want to reward her behavior.

We fortunately hadn’t had any kids yet either, so that was great. I was glad to not have anything at all tying me to her. I also think I got off easy because I agreed to let her have several pieces of furniture and appliances in the house. I mainly did that because I really didn’t want to have a lot of things that she had chosen left behind.

I didn’t need daily reminders of her. So that’s it. I’m free of her. And as much as it hurts to have spent so many years of my life beingounded as a cheater and to have finally been cheated on, I’m glad to be in a position where I know it will never happen again. So Claudia got served at her publishing company.

Oh, that’s sweet, sweet irony. I’m sure her colleagues were flipping pages of their gossip novels a bit faster that day. Her angry text about being embarrassed was just the cherry on top. Nothing like a bit of public humiliation to balance the scales of her paranoid antics. In the end, you got to keep the house, which you rightfully owned pre-claudia, avoided alimony, and didn’t have any kids to complicate things.

Letting her take the furniture and appliances was a master stroke. Who needs ghostly reminders of her questionable taste and endless accusations cluttering up your fresh start? So, here you are, free at last. No more daily accusations, no more hypervigilance over innocent conversations, and no more ceramic ornament throwing rage fits.

You’ve emerged from the wreckage of that relationship bruised but not beaten, and ready to enjoy a life free of Claudia’s jealousyfueled drama. Here’s to never hearing another paranoid rant about imagined affairs and to a future where you’re only haunted by happy memories. Cheers, Op. What would you have done? Let us know in the comments, and thank you for joining us today.

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