My Toxic Ex Befriended Every Guy I Dated to ‘Warn’ Them About Me.
What are you talking about? Ethan is my dealer,” Tyler said. Has been for about a year. I had no idea he was dating you.
This is hilarious. I felt sick. Actually sick. Before I could respond, Ethan appeared in the hallway behind Tyler. He was carrying a takeout bag from our favorite tie place. When he saw both of us standing there, his face went pale.
“What’s going on?” Ethan asked. “You’re Tyler’s dealer,” I said. My voice came out strangled. Ethan looked between us.
“You two know each other?” “She’s my ex,” Tyler said cheerfully. “The one I told you about.” “Small world, huh?” Ethan’s expression hardened. “You need to leave, man. I’m here to pick up,” Tyler said. “We had an appointment.” “I don’t care. Leave,” Tyler held up his hands. “Wo, okay. Didn’t mean to cause drama, but hey, Madison, good luck with this one. Seems like you really upgraded from me. The sarcasm in his voice was thick. He was loving this, loving the fact that he’d somehow inserted himself into my life again. Ethan stepped forward. Leave now or I’m calling someone who will make you leave. Tyler finally left, still smiling, that infuriating smile. When the door closed, I turned to Ethan. Tyler is your client.
Was Ethan said, I’m done with him. For how long? How long have you been selling to him? About a year, maybe a little more. Ethan set the food down on the counter. I didn’t know who he was, Madison. I had no idea he was your ex until just now. Did you tell him about me? I asked. When you first started dating me, did you mention it to him?
No, Ethan said. I don’t talk to my clients about my personal life. That’s rule number one. I believed him, but it didn’t make the situation any less awful. Tyler now knew I was dating Ethan. And worse, Ethan had been selling to Tyler for over a year. The same Tyler who’d been systematically ruining my life. I sat down on the couch. My hands were shaking. I need you to cut him off completely. I said, “No more selling to him. No more contact. Already done,” Ethan said. “I meant what I said. I’m done with him. He’s not going to let this go.” I said, “You don’t know him like I do. He’s going to use this. He’s going to find some way to make this worse. Ethan sat down next to me. Let him try. I’m not scared of some entitled jerk who can’t let go of his ex. But I was scared because I knew Tyler and I knew he was already plotting something.
I was right to be scared. Over the next few weeks, Tyler started calling me, texting me, showing up at places he knew I’d be. My favorite coffee shop, the yoga studio, the grocery store near my apartment. He wasn’t threatening. That was the thing. He was never overtly threatening. He’d just smile and wave, make small talk, ask how I was doing, how Ethan was doing. It was psychological warfare. I told Ethan about it and he offered to handle it, but I knew that would only make things worse. Tyler wanted a reaction. He wanted drama. He wanted to get under my skin, so I tried to ignore it. Tried to go about my life like Tyler wasn’t lurking in the background. Then Tyler escalated. He started posting on social media about me. Not directly, but in this obvious passive aggressive way.
Posts about toxic people, about exes who refused to take accountability, about how some people never change. My friends noticed, started asking me about it. I had to explain the whole situation over and over again. It was humiliating. But the worst part came when Tyler started messaging Ethan’s friends, his business associates, people in his network. He told them that Ethan was dating his ex, that I was bad news, that I had a history of causing problems, that Ethan should be careful. It was exactly what he’d done to all my previous boyfriends.
But now he was doing it to Ethan’s entire social circle. Ethan started losing clients. People who’d worked with him for years suddenly stopped calling, stopped placing orders. He didn’t tell me at first, but I could tell something was wrong. He was stressed, distracted, worried about money. When I finally got it out of him, I was devastated. This is my fault, I said. Tyler is doing this because of me. It’s not your fault, Ethan said. It’s his fault. He’s the one choosing to be a psycho. But I felt responsible. Tyler was destroying Ethan’s livelihood because Ethan had refused to listen to his lies about me.
I decided I needed to confront Tyler again. Face to face, I called him and asked to meet. He sounded surprised, but agreed immediately. We met at a neutral location, a park near downtown. Tyler showed up looking smug like he’d already won. What do you want, Madison? He asked. I want you to stop, I said. Stop contacting Ethan’s friends. Stop posting about me. Stop showing up everywhere I go. Just leave me alone. I’m not doing anything wrong, Tyler said. I’m just exercising my free speech. I’m allowed to post what I want on my own social media. I’m allowed to talk to my friends. Ethan’s friends aren’t your friends, I said. You’re deliberately sabotaging his business. Tyler shrugged.
Not my problem if people don’t want to work with someone who has bad judgment.
Why are you doing this? I asked. It’s been 3 years, Tyler. 3 years. Why can’t you just move on? For the first time, Tyler’s expression shifted. Something darker flickered across his face.
Because you embarrassed me, he said.
When you left me, you made me look like a fool, like I wasn’t good enough.
Everyone knew you dumped me. Everyone knew I couldn’t keep you happy. So, this is about your ego. This is about respect, Tyler said. You don’t get to just walk away from me and move on like I didn’t matter. Like, those two years meant nothing. They did matter, I said.
But they’re over. You need to accept that. Tyler laughed. That cold, humorless laugh. I’ll accept it when you understand what it feels like to lose something you care about over and over again. The way you made me feel. That’s when I realized Tyler wasn’t just obsessed with me. He was genuinely unwell. He’d built this entire narrative in his head where I was the villain and he was the victim and nothing I said would change that. I left the park feeling hopeless. Tyler wasn’t going to stop and as long as I was with Ethan, he was going to keep destroying Ethan’s life. That night, I told Ethan we should break up. No, he said immediately.
Ethan, he’s ruining your business.
You’re losing money because of me. I don’t care about the money, Ethan said.
You should care. This is your livelihood. I’ll figure it out, Ethan said. I’m not letting him win. I’m not letting him drive you away. I started crying. I’m so tired. I’m so tired of Tyler controlling everything. of him always being there, always watching, always waiting to destroy anything good in my life. Ethan pulled me close. Then we need to find a way to stop him. For good. How? I asked. I’ve tried everything. Confronting him, ignoring him, threatening legal action. Nothing works. Ethan was quiet for a long moment. Then he said, What if we give him what he wants? I pulled back to look at him. What? What if we let him think he’s won? Let him think he’s successfully driven us apart. Then he’ll back off. And once he’s backed off, we can figure out our next move. I didn’t love the idea of pretending to break up, but I was out of options. You really think that would work? I think it’s worth a try, Ethan said. So that’s what we did. We staged a breakup, made it public on social media. I even told Amber about it, swearing her to secrecy about the fact that it wasn’t real.
Tyler bought it immediately. He reached out to me a few days later. All fake sympathy and concern. Hey, I heard about you and Ethan. I’m sorry things didn’t work out. I wanted to throw my phone across the room, but I played along.
Yeah, it just wasn’t meant to be, I said. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. Tyler said the audacity. The absolute audacity. But I stayed calm. Thanks, Tyler. For a few weeks, Tyler seemed satisfied. He stopped posting about me, stopped showing up at random places. Ethan’s business started to recover as word spread that we’d broken up. Ethan and I kept seeing each other in secret. It was actually kind of exciting at first, sneaking around, but it also sucked not being able to be public about our relationship. Then something unexpected happened. Ethan came to my apartment one night looking shaken. “What’s wrong?” I asked. Tyler contacted me. He said my blood ran cold. What? Why? He wants to buy again. Said he heard we broke up and figured there was no conflict of interest anymore. I felt sick. You’re not going to sell to him, are you? No, Ethan said. But that’s not the thing that’s bothering me. What is it? Ethan sat down. When he reached out, he was different, more aggressive. He said something weird. He said he was glad we broke up because now he could tell me the truth about you. The truth? Yeah. He said he’d been holding back before because he didn’t want to seem like he was just trying to sabotage the relationship. But now that we were done, he wanted to help me by telling me what you’re really like. What did he say?
Ethan looked at me. He said you’re dangerous. That when you were together, you manipulated him, controlled him, that you threatened him when he tried to leave. He said you made his life miserable and that he’s only been trying to protect people from you. I felt tears prick my eyes. None of that is true. I know, Ethan said. But Madison, he believes it. He really genuinely believes his own lies, and that makes him way more dangerous than I thought.
We sat in silence for a moment. There’s more, Ethan said. He told me he has proof that he’s been documenting everything you’ve done for years. He said, “If I ever wanted to see it, he’d show me.” Proof of what? I haven’t done anything. I know, but he’s clearly built some kind of case against you in his mind, and I think we need to find out what it is. That’s when Ethan suggested something risky, something that made my stomach turn. I’m going to tell him I want to see the proof, Ethan said. I’ll tell him I’m interested, that I’m starting to have doubts about you. That maybe we got back together briefly and I need to know the truth. No, I said immediately. That’s too dangerous. What if he figures out we’re still together?
He won’t, Ethan said. I’ll be careful, but we need to know what we’re dealing with. If he has some kind of documentation, some kind of fake evidence, we need to see it so we can figure out how to fight back. I didn’t like it, but Ethan was right. We needed to know what Tyler had. So Ethan reached out to Tyler, told him he was reconsidering things with me, that he needed to see this proof Tyler kept talking about. Tyler jumped at the opportunity, set up a meeting at his apartment for the following week. Ethan went to that meeting. I waited at my apartment, anxious and terrified until he got back. When Ethan finally walked through my door, he looked disturbed.
“What happened?” I asked. Ethan sat down heavily on my couch. “Madison, he’s completely delusional. What do you mean?” “He has this entire room, like a whole room dedicated to you. Photos of you, screenshots of your social media posts from the past 3 years, lists of places you go regularly, receipts from places you’ve shopped. He’s been following you, documenting your life. I felt cold all over. He has a room. Yeah.
And he has this binder. This huge binder full of evidence about how terrible you are. Except none of it is evidence of anything. It’s just random stuff. A photo of you looking upset in a coffee shop with a caption about how you’re clearly unstable. A screenshot of a text message where you told him you needed space, which he claims is proof you were threatening him. It’s all twisted. All taken completely out of context. Oh my god. I whispered. He walked me through the whole thing. Ethan continued.
Explained his case against you. How you’ve been stalking him for years. How you’ve been trying to ruin his life.
Madison, he has it completely backwards.
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