My Parents Insist I Let My Troubled Sister Move In After Her Divorce—But She Crossed the

My parents insist I let my troubled sister move in after her divorce, but she crosses the line by flirting with my husband, leading to major family drama. I, 25, female, have a twin sister, Becky. She and I were close growing up, but something just went very wrong when she was a teenager. Becky was an exceptionally bright student, while I was quite average.

So, in 8th grade, she was offered a scholarship opportunity from a really reputed institution for gifted kids like her, and she wanted to accept. The only problem was that the high school she was supposed to attend was way out of town and the commute itself would take up more than an hour every day.

We could have let her live on campus, but Becky wasn’t fine with it because she said she didn’t like the idea of living on campus. So, after a lot of deliberation, my parents decided that she could live with our aunt, my father’s sister. My aunt didn’t have any kids of her own and had never married. So, my father had been a little wary of sending Becky to live with her since he wasn’t sure if she would be able to handle the responsibility.

But my aunt herself had volunteered to take Becky in and let her live with her so she could attend the school she wanted to and wouldn’t jeopardize her future. And that’s how Becky ended up living with my aunt for high school while I continued to live with my parents. She would come back for the holidays and we would all visit her whenever we had the time.

For the first couple of months, everything was going fine. And she would tell us that she was having the time of her life at her new school since everybody was like-minded and she was finally being challenged. I was really happy for her because I wanted her to succeed. I had never been one of those typically jealous kids.

I just wanted everyone to be happy. And I guess that still remains the same. So, initially when she would tell me about her school and her new friends, I would be happy for her. And she wouldn’t make a big deal out of it either. She would just mention it casually in conversation. But over time, that started to change.

And it felt like she was trying to rub it in my face and make me feel bad about it. For a while, I thought that I was just reading too much into it. But then there were a lot of other negative changes in her behavior as well, which my parents also picked up on gradually. That made me think that maybe I wasn’t reading too much into this and something was going really wrong with Becky.

This wasn’t instantly noticeable and it took a lot of time for us to actually come to terms with the fact that Becky was becoming much more different and kind of worse as a person. It started off small, like whenever we would visit her, she wouldn’t talk as much as she used to and always seemed to have an attitude.

But we brushed it off thinking that she was probably just stressed and tired from school and needed time to herself. My aunt also said the same thing and we were satisfied with that explanation. But then more time passed and she would get snappy and cranky at us for absolutely no reason. My parents were also told that her grades were slipping and she was becoming quite troublesome to have in class.

That was in her junior year and that’s the point around which my parents really started to get worried. They had been talking about bringing her back home for quite some time, but she was straight up refusing to come back because she wanted to be amongst people like her and didn’t think that she would ever fit into the high school that I went to, which was quite an insult for me if I’m being honest.

Anyway, the final straw was when my parents were contacted in the middle of the night by my aunt and she claimed that Becky had stolen a bunch of cash and disappeared. There was a police search and she was found just half an hour after the phone call trying to purchase drinks even though she was underage.

She was led off with a warning, but my parents decided that they had had enough and it was time to bring her home. Becky was very unhappy about it and made sure that she put up a really good fight. She was even more rebellious than she had been before. She protested a lot, but my parents had enough and they forced her to come back with us and start attending the same high school that I used to go to.

They also pushed her into therapy because clearly something had gone wrong while she had been living with my aunt. At first, we had honestly assumed that she hadn’t been able to compete with the kids at her school and had finally snapped and broken down because when she came back, she was really difficult to deal with.

She refused to cooperate with anyone, be it our parents or even the teachers at our school. She would be nasty to our classmates and would constantly skip class. And even though I couldn’t prove it to my parents, I had seen her smoking a little distance away from the school building several times. She had turned into the complete opposite of what she used to be, and it had been a slow but drastic change.

So, of course, my parents thought that therapy would be the best way to go forward, so we could at least get to the bottom of what really had gone wrong while she was living with my aunt. We had expected the problem to be the school or bullying, but unfortunately, it turned out to be my aunt herself. So, apparently, my aunt was what one could refer to as a helicopter parent.

While in therapy, Becky was able to open up, and she claimed our aunt was really overbearing and simply too controlling. She would pretend to be normal whenever we came around to visit her, but the second that we left, she would turn back into her usual self and try to control every single aspect of her life.

She said that she was forced to study every single second that she was at home because everything else was apparently just a waste of time. She was not allowed to go out with her friends or do anything apart from studying while she was at home. Even when she would have lunch or dinner, my aunt insisted on playing something educational instead of letting her watch something fun.

It was really frustrating for her. So, she started to act out in other ways. But she wasn’t willing to come back to us either because that would mean giving up on the opportunity of a lifetime. And she didn’t want to go to a normal public school because that would mean demeaning her own capabilities.

Our aunt had told her several times that apparently our grandparents had never recognized her talent or intellect. Even though she had also been a gifted child because her parents had never recognized that she was special and different, they never treated her differently either. and she ended up with a boring job that didn’t even pay enough.

She claimed that she could have been doing so much better if her parents had actually bothered to put in the time and effort to do something about how intelligent she was and invested in her. She had drilled the fear of failure into Becky and made her very paranoid, which is why she had refused to come back home with us the first time around.

She believed that if she gave up on this school, it would spell nothing but failure for her in the future. And so, she tried to keep up, but the pressure was just getting to her. She started thinking about drinking and sneaking off to go out with her friends to let off some steam, but she got caught in the process and now she was back here with us.

She said that she regretted everything because she had let go of a brilliant opportunity to actually make something of herself and now she knew that she was doomed to failure. So, she didn’t even see the point of trying to do better anymore and had completely given up on herself. It was clear to us after that that our aunt had really done a number on her.

But the worst part was when a couple of years passed with minimal improvement in her behavior, and Becky was then diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. I couldn’t say that I was surprised, but it was heartbreaking to know that our aunt had actually led to her developing such a serious disorder that was going to affect her for the rest of her life.

Our parents were obviously devastated because they blamed themselves for even allowing our aunt to take over and letting Becky stay with her. However, I didn’t think it was completely their fault because they had noticed all the signs and tried to get Becky back home. but she was the one who had refused. Also, our aunt pretended to be really normal and was good at it whenever we were around.

So, there was no way that we could have found out unless Becky herself told us about it. They even filed a lawsuit against her to try and get her to pay us for the damage that she had caused and actually won. All that money went into Becky’s treatment because she needed intensive therapy for several years. She managed to graduate from high school with great difficulty but couldn’t go to college because she was not in the correct condition and my parents didn’t want to risk anything by sending her away again.

She refused to attend community college, so she continued to live with our parents until a few years ago. She started dating this guy called Toby who moved in next door by himself after our old neighbors sold their house and moved away. He knew everything about her because our parents felt like it was their duty to tell him when they noticed that Becky was growing closer to him and often found her making excuses to speak to him.

He was actually a really kind and compassionate person who genuinely seemed to like her. He didn’t even care about her diagnosis and reassured my parents that he really liked her and wanted to go out with her in spite of everything that he had been told. My parents weren’t exactly on board with it, but Becky convinced them to let her move in with him after they had been dating for a couple of months.

It certainly helped that he lived next door and my parents could always just pop in to make sure that she was doing all right. So, they agreed after a while because it was getting really difficult to justify keeping a full-g grown adult woman under their constant supervision. Becky ended up moving in with Toby and my parents continued to try and make sure she wasn’t doing anything to jeopardize her future and her relationship.

They had also found her a job in a friend’s startup company as a receptionist around the same time because she was apparently getting sick of being stuck at home. They found her the receptionist job so that it could be something low pressure for her to start with and she could eventually work her way up.

Everything was going great for her. After almost a year of living together, they decided to get married. And since they were already living together, my parents agreed because they thought that this would do a lot of good for her. She even quit her job to be a full-time stay-at-home wife. Honestly speaking, being with Toby had actually brought about a lot of positive changes in her life.

And she was even behaving better with all of us instead of constantly treating us like the enemy and acting like she could do so much better if we didn’t exist to bring her down. So, they thought it was a good idea and she got married 2 years ago. I only just got married last year to my boyfriend whom I’ve been with for almost 7 years.

We met in our first year of college and have been inseparable since then. My husband Jack has always known about Becky ever since I brought him home to meet my family for the first time. And Becky started flirting with him like nobody’s business. I told him about Becky’s diagnosis and said that she might act a little strange, but I didn’t expect her to start flirting with him right in front of me.

It was really inappropriate and I had to ask her to stop multiple times before my mother finally snapped at her and told her to go back to her room. It was really awkward afterward and we had to explain to him that this was just how she was and there was no telling what she might say or do because she literally had no filter.

She would often say things to hurt us on purpose and trying to flirt with my boyfriend would definitely get it done. But that was their first interaction and after that Jack would just ignore her and she got bored after the first few attempts when she tried to flirt with him but it wasn’t reciprocated and started ignoring him back.

So they never really got along and neither did I think it was necessary for them to do so either. and I left the situation alone. But she had been invited to my wedding as I had been invited to hers since my parents wanted us to at least pretend to be a happy family, even if we weren’t one. She was totally smitten by Toby. And once they were together, she had started being nice to everybody.

So, I didn’t think that there was any harm in finally being a family again. We started off well with monthly family dinners and were really trying our best to mend our relationships and be a little less dysfunctional. And it was really working because we had made a lot of progress in the past couple of years. And I guess one could actually refer to us as a happy family now.

But I guess it was too good to be true because we recently found out that Becky had been cheating on Toby for the past year or so. We were all really shocked to find out about it because we had always assumed that Toby and Becky were as in love as could be. And yet she went ahead and had an affair with one of his co-workers, no less.

It was a huge scandal for the family and Toby filed for divorce as soon as he found out. He’d found out about it by chance because Becky had left her phone unlocked around him and left the room. And unfortunately, that’s when her affair partner decided to drop a text. It was almost as if she wasn’t even trying to hide it by that point.

I guess she got lazy because she had been cheating on him for over a year and getting away with it, which is probably why she slipped up. Either way, there was no talking him into taking her back. And I don’t exactly blame the guy because who would take her back after what she did? After quite a lengthy divorce process, it was decided that they would sell all their property and that included the house.

So Toby sold the house and split the money between the two of them. Becky lived with our parents for some time after the divorce. But my parents kept telling me to let her live with me instead because she complained that my parents being around made her feel like a total loser who was still living with her mom and dad after a failed marriage.

She could just rent an apartment and live on her own. But apparently my parents didn’t want that because they thought she might hurt herself or do something stupid if she was left to her own devices. My parents were practically begging me to take her in so she could rebrand her life. after a while.

While I didn’t see the point of declining it over and over again, so I ended up agreeing to it and took her in. I honestly felt bad for her because every time I would visit my parents house after the divorce, she would just be lurking in the shadows like a ghost of her past self. And it was pretty pathetic to see. I don’t think anybody in my place would have continued to ignore it.

And at the end of the day, she was my sister and I owed my family certain things. Or at least that’s what I believed before I took her in and she decided to stab me in the back. Anyway, a while after the divorce, I decided to speak to my husband about this. We had quite a few discussions regarding Becky and the living arrangements that my parents had been suggesting, and we decided that we were okay with it because if it was going to help with self-esteem and make her a better person somehow, then I was all for it.

So, we took her in. A couple of days ago, she managed to screw it up in less than a week. She was quite happy to move in with us, and I could tell that my parents had been right. She really did want to live with me instead of them. It was kind of strange because she and I had grown apart in the years after she went away to live with our aunt.

It was nice to see that she was finally reconnecting with me and I even thought that we could really rebuild our relationship again. I was wrong obviously and I never should have taken her in. I only did it as a favor to my parents and a little bit to her because we all knew that she was in over her own head and I wanted to do something to fix the family.

Call it my savior complex, but I just wanted to be helpful. The day that she moved in was actually pretty nice. We let her stay in the guest room and she really made herself at home there. She was chirpy and lively that day and this was the first time that I had seen her this happy ever since the divorce took place. So I for one was really happy that I was being of help.

However, things started changing as soon as we had spent one day in our house. The very next day, she started picking apart stupid things like how I decorated my house and the kind of paint that I used for the walls. It was ridiculous, but I didn’t say anything about it because it seemed too petty to make an issue out of.

The last straw was when at dinner she decided to start flirting with my husband. I’m not even kidding. It was like full-on flirting and she didn’t even seem to care that I was sitting right there. She kept asking him weird questions and making googly eyes at him throughout dinner and I could tell that he was really uncomfortable as was I.

On more than one occasion, she brushed her hand against his on purpose when there was really no need to. I was actually speechless and my husband and I left the dinner table as soon as we could without even bothering to finish our dinner. We went to our room for a bit and immediately decided that she had to go because there was no way that I was letting Becky live under my roof and flirt with my husband.

It was just not going to happen and she would just have to go back to living with our parents. If that affected her mental health, then tough. But that’s not my problem because she’s not my daughter. I tried to do something nice for the family by taking in a nutcase like her. But obviously, there is no fixing people like this because they’re always just going to be ungrateful.

I should have known that, but I guess the human part of me really did feel bad for her and wanted to make her feel better because she is my sister. After we were done with dinner and our conversation, I called my parents and told them what had happened. I expected them to be just as outraged as I was and demand I send her back immediately.

A third move back to her parents’ place would just be devastating for her and she would go back to moping and sulking all the time. They didn’t want that for her and told me that I could either just deal with it or I could let her have this house and move somewhere else. I didn’t even know what they meant by let her have this house because that’s not how things work.

You can’t just let people have things that don’t belong to them. And that applies to both husbands and houses. Anyway, I told my parents that they were being ridiculous and they had to take her back in. But my parents said that I was overreacting and that it was apparently no big deal because as long as I trusted my husband, I had nothing to worry about.

As for my sister, she was going through a really difficult time and I should just overlook all the strange things that she was going to say or do and just keep her around because as part of the family, I owe this to them and I have to help out. That’s when I snapped at them and told them that I didn’t really owe them anything because this was their daughter, not mine, and it was their responsibility to take care of her.

Earlier, I did think that I owed them something, which is why I brought her in. But now that it backfired, I wasn’t going to entertain it anymore. It just didn’t make sense. My parents and I went back and forth for a couple of minutes, after which they told me that I could either get a new home or just put up with my sister because I had already taken her in.

And they were not going to force Becky to relocate once more just because I was insecure. And then they hung up without giving me a chance to reply. My husband and I were really mad because this was insanely entitled and I couldn’t believe that they actually thought that this was going to work. We went back out into the living room where Becky was and decided to tell her that the way she had behaved was extremely inappropriate and we were not comfortable with her living with us anymore.

Her reaction to that was nothing short of crazy and she instantly started screaming at me, accusing me of being jealous of her all my life. She said that the only reason she had even wanted to move in with us was because she wanted to be closer to my husband and not me. Apparently, she had seen the way he used to look at her whenever we would come over during or even after the divorce.

and she knew that he wanted to make a move, but I was the only one who stopped him from doing that. So, she had taken it upon herself to move in with us and make it easier for him to confess his feelings. My husband and I were actually dumbruck when she said that because of the sheer incredility of it. A few seconds later, my husband told her to get out and never come back.

And that’s when she seemed really surprised because she hadn’t seen this coming. She tried to seem indignant and said that she knew what she had witnessed and he was only trying to cover up his tracks now because he didn’t want to mess things up with me. I lost my temper and I screamed at her to get out.

So, she screamed right back and told me that she was leaving anyway because she had no interest in living with us since we were nothing but a bunch of losers. So, she packed her things up quickly and left. We didn’t know where she went and after that we just wanted a quiet night. So, we went to sleep.

But unfortunately, my parents have not been able to find her yet since she hasn’t been answering any calls and she definitely didn’t go to their place. So, we basically have no idea where she is. Long story short, my parents are blaming me for it. They think that my husband and I made this happen, which is really unfair, but I do feel kind of guilty because had we been a little kinder to her, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

So, AITA for kicking my narcissistic sister out of my house. Update one. Okay, [clears throat] so it’s been a few days since my post here, and I just wanted to tell you guys that we found her. Becky had been crashing at a friend’s place who lives a little out of town, and that’s why we hadn’t been able to trace her.

But she is okay and just as delusional and crazy as ever. When my parents found her, she refused to come back with them because she claimed that she was too good to be living with her family anymore and wanted a place of her own. She said that she was sick of relying on people, first on Toby and then on my parents, so she wanted a home of her own.

And guess what? My parents agreed to it. Of course, there has been no apology to me yet or my husband. My parents just put all this in a message and told me that I should be grateful that nothing bad had happened to her. They told me that they would be buying her a new apartment at the earliest so she could save her own money and start a fresh.

Now I don’t know why they thought that this was a necessary detail for me to know. But it’s great that they told me. So now I know exactly where I stand. Clearly my happiness is not very important to them. And at least now I know that. Update two. It happened. They got her a new apartment. At least this time they didn’t text me in person to tell me about it.

I found out from a bunch of our friends because she was posting about it relentlessly on social media. After we kicked her out, she had blocked us everywhere, probably out of embarrassment because of the crazy incident. Either way, I don’t mind it at all. My friend said that I don’t really know what she’s up to because she’s just not worth my time.

I tried to be nice to her, but that blew up in my face magnificently. Now I’m done, and I don’t want to ever have any interaction with her again. She’s just not worth my time and energy. My parents and I still haven’t spoken and I guess they still think that I’m responsible for Becky going missing for those couple of days even though nothing really happened to her and she got her way in the end.

She should probably be happy that I kicked her out because that’s what got her the new apartment. Either way, my husband and I are doing great and he’s my only family as of now. Hey, so it’s been 1 month since Becky came over, flirted with my husband, and got herself kicked out of my house promptly.

And then, like you all know, my parents bought her a new apartment to live in with their money instead of the money from the alimony because they wanted her to be able to save. It’s crazy that it’s been such a long time since then. And yet, nothing seems to have changed with either Becky or my parents. Neither of them has gotten back to me to apologize, and I have stopped holding out hope that they will at any point.

Some people are just too selfish to think about anybody else apart from themselves. And I should know that Becky actually was a narcissist. She should probably start therapy again, but I’m not going to tell her that because she’s not my family anymore. My husband and I are still going strong and happy, and that’s all that matters to me.

My parents and Becky can take a hike.